Writing personal vows is one of the most intimate and heartfelt parts of your wedding ceremony. It’s an opportunity to express your love, commitment, and unique journey as a couple. However, the task can feel daunting. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you write vows that truly reflect your relationship and the promises you want to make to each other. As a Columbus, Ohio wedding photographer I’ve seen hundreds of couples exchange vows and here is some advice!

1. Start Early

Begin the process several months before your wedding. This gives you ample time to reflect on your relationship and gather your thoughts without feeling rushed.

2. Reflect on Your Relationship

Take some time to think about your journey together. Consider the following:

• Memories: What are your favorite moments together?
• Growth: How have you grown as individuals and as a couple?
• Future: What do you look forward to in your married life?

3. Discuss with Your Partner

While your vows should be personal, it’s a good idea to have a conversation with your partner about the tone and length of the vows. This ensures that your vows are somewhat cohesive and align with each other.

4. Write Down Key Points

Jot down the key elements you want to include in your vows. These might be:

• Qualities: What do you love most about your partner?
• Promises: What commitments are you making?
• Aspirations: What do you hope for in your future together?

5. Find Inspiration

Reading examples of other vows can be incredibly inspiring. Look for vows online, in books, or ask married friends to share theirs. Note phrases or ideas that resonate with you, but remember to make your vows your own.

6. Draft Your Vows

Begin drafting your vows by expanding on the key points you wrote down. Aim for a balance of personal anecdotes, heartfelt promises, and a touch of humor if it feels right. Here’s a basic structure to follow:

• Introduction: Start by addressing your partner and expressing your love.
• Personal Anecdotes: Share a few meaningful memories or stories.
• Promises: Make specific promises that reflect your commitment.
• Closing: End with a heartfelt statement about your future together.

7. Edit and Refine

Once you have a draft, take some time to revise it. Read it aloud to ensure it flows well and feels natural. Check for any areas that may need clarification or further elaboration.

8. Practice

Practice reading your vows aloud multiple times. This will help you become comfortable with the words and ensure that you can deliver them confidently on the big day.

9. Keep a Secret

While it’s helpful to discuss the general structure and tone with your partner, keep the actual content of your vows a secret until the ceremony. This adds an element of surprise and makes the moment more special.

10. Write or Print a Final Copy

On the day of your wedding, have a neatly written or printed copy of your vows to read from. This ensures you won’t forget your words in the moment’s excitement.

Sample Vows for Inspiration

Example 1:
“Jamie, from the moment I met you, I knew my life was about to change. Your kindness, humor, and unwavering support have made every day brighter. I promise to stand by your side through every challenge and to celebrate every joy with you. I vow to listen, to laugh, and to love you more with each passing day. Together, we can face anything, and I am so excited for our future.”

Example 2:
“Alex, you are my best friend and my greatest love. You have shown me what it means to truly be loved and accepted. I promise to cherish and respect you, to support your dreams, and to always make you laugh. I vow to be your partner in all of life’s adventures, to hold your hand through the good times and the bad, and to love you unconditionally.”

Writing personal vows is a beautiful way to share your love story and your commitment to each other. By starting early, reflecting on your relationship, and taking the time to craft your words, you can create vows that are heartfelt and meaningful. Remember, the most important thing is to speak from your heart and express your true feelings. Your partner will cherish your words for a lifetime.

Caroline Stiers is a Columbus, Ohio wedding photographer based in Columbus, Ohio and New York City, also offering destination wedding photography. She specializes in creating joyful experiences and capturing candid, romantic, and emotional moments with an editorial flair.